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numb3rsflashficTitle: Holding On
Pairing/Characters: David/Colby
Rating/Category: PG13/Slash
Word Count: 1080 words
Spoilers: None.
Summary: He wasn’t normally a glass half empty kind of guy, but seeing Colby go off the roof had scared the hell out of him.
Notes/Warning: None.
Written: May 8, 2009
David was on his third beer, and he hadn’t had nearly enough yet. He was going to keep drinking until he could close his eyes and not replay the image of Colby falling off the edge of the roof. Or until he passed out, whichever came first.
Colby’d been out there on the ledge trying to talk down a jumper -- Sam Dix, a recently unemployed accountant whose wife had just left him and took the kids with her. The hell of it was, Colby had succeeded. Dix had agreed that maybe ending his life wasn’t the answer, and he should get down from where he was sitting on the ledge, legs dangling over the side, so he could think it over some more. But when he’d swivelled around, Dix had lost his balance.
Instinctively reaching out for something to grab onto, Dix had latched onto Colby’s arm. Instead of steadying him, Colby, who had already started to shift his own weight, was thrown off balance, as well, and they both went over the edge.
“Hey,”Colby said, speaking softly, “you coming to bed?”
“No.”
“It’s late.”
“I know, but I can’t . . . .”
David could still see it so clearly. In his memories, it happened in slow motion, the small grin of success Colby’d shot David slowly being replaced by a frown when Dix grabbed his arm, by concern when Colby realized they were both off balance, and then by fear just before they both tilted over the edge.
Dread and panic had squeezed David’s chest, lodged in his belly like a chunk of ice. And yet, no matter how slowly it all happened when David’s mind replayed it, David never reached Colby in time to keep him from going over.
“David, I’m fine.”
“I know that.”
It wasn’t entirely true. Colby had a dislocated shoulder, but he was alive. David did know that. He could see Colby standing right in front of him, could touch him if he just lifted his hand.
“Do you?”
“Yes.”
David had leapt towards Colby, could still feel the material of Colby’s shirt slide through his fingers as Colby tumbled out of sight. His throat was still raw from screaming Colby’s name. He’d leaned over the ledge, fearing the worst; that he’d see his partner splayed on the ground below, broken and bleeding, like a doll someone had tossed away.
By some miracle Colby had caught the edge of the roof and hung by the tips of his fingers, Dix screaming as he swung by his waistband from Colby’s other hand.
David had pulled Colby up until he could hold himself a little more securely by an elbow hooked over the ledge, then leaned down and dragged Dix back over the side, lightening Colby’s load. He left Dix huddled on the roof as he helped Colby, one arm hanging uselessly, back onto the solid surface and away from the edge.
Colby had been lucky he’d walked away with just the dislocated shoulder. Lucky because he hadn’t been spattered all over the concrete below, yet that was all David could imagine. When he closed his eyes, what he saw when he looked over the edge was Colby falling, arms and legs flailing, eyes staring right into David’s, until he hit the ground.
“But do you believe it?”
When David didn’t respond, Colby took the bottle out of his hand, ignoring David’s, “Hey,” and set it aside. He straddled David’s lap, settled his free hand on David’s shoulder.
“Touch me.”
“What?”
“Touch me, David. Prove to yourself that I’m still alive.”
“I know you’re alive, Colby.”
“Prove it.”
When David didn’t move to touch him, Colby reached down and pinched his arm.
“Ow! What was that for?”
“Proof that this is real. When you close your eyes, David, I don’t want you to imagine the worst. I want you to remember that the worst didn’t happen. That you saved me. That I’m fine.”
“I can’t help it,” David said, voice small. He wasn’t normally a glass half empty kind of guy, but seeing Colby go off the roof had scared the hell out of him.
Somehow David’s hands had found their way to Colby’s thighs, rubbing them, feeling the warmth of Colby through the sweat pants he’d changed into after they’d gotten home from the office, where Don had taken one look at Colby’s sling and told David to take him home and make sure he didn’t try to jump off any more buildings.
“I know. So let’s replace that image with another one, okay? When you close your eyes, I want you to imagine me naked, sprawled across the bed, completely fucked out.”
That mental image momentarily eradicated the one of Colby falling. He’d seen Colby all loose limbed, sated, and too exhausted to even hold his eyes open just that morning. He remembered the way Colby’s lips had curved up into a pretty smug smile.
“That’s your suggestion?” David asked, a small smile curving the corners of his own lips, the heat from Colby’s nearness doing as much to thaw the block of fear as Colby’s reassurances. “Just picture you naked instead of . . .?”
Colby knocked his fist against David’s shoulder. “Not just naked . . . .”
“Fucked out.”
“Mmm hmm. Better than drinking yourself into a coma.”
“Better for who?” David said, trying to keep his voice light, but it still came out a little rough.
Colby slid his hand behind David’s head, fingers spreading over his scalp, warmth spreading through his body. “Both of us. That way we can both get some sleep; I can’t stay awake pinching you all night.”
David dropped his head forward, forehead resting against Colby’s chest. He could feel the material of the sling Colby wore against his cheek, feel the thump of Colby’s heart beating. He took a ragged breath, then another. “Colby.”
“I’m right here, David.”
David slid his arms around Colby’s hips and clung to him. “Colby.”
Warm breath feathered over his skin as Colby pressed a kiss to the side of David’s head. “I’m right here. Just don’t let go, ‘kay?”
“I won’t,” David said, tightening his arms around Colby. “I won’t. Don’t . . . .” As much as David wanted to, he couldn’t ask Colby to promise that nothing like that would ever happen again, that he’d never leave him. Instead he said, “You don’t let go either.”
Colby rubbed his hand soothingly down David’s back, cheek pressed to his head. “I won’t, sweetheart, I won’t.”
And that David could believe.
The End
Pairing/Characters: David/Colby
Rating/Category: PG13/Slash
Word Count: 1080 words
Spoilers: None.
Summary: He wasn’t normally a glass half empty kind of guy, but seeing Colby go off the roof had scared the hell out of him.
Notes/Warning: None.
Written: May 8, 2009
David was on his third beer, and he hadn’t had nearly enough yet. He was going to keep drinking until he could close his eyes and not replay the image of Colby falling off the edge of the roof. Or until he passed out, whichever came first.
Colby’d been out there on the ledge trying to talk down a jumper -- Sam Dix, a recently unemployed accountant whose wife had just left him and took the kids with her. The hell of it was, Colby had succeeded. Dix had agreed that maybe ending his life wasn’t the answer, and he should get down from where he was sitting on the ledge, legs dangling over the side, so he could think it over some more. But when he’d swivelled around, Dix had lost his balance.
Instinctively reaching out for something to grab onto, Dix had latched onto Colby’s arm. Instead of steadying him, Colby, who had already started to shift his own weight, was thrown off balance, as well, and they both went over the edge.
“Hey,”Colby said, speaking softly, “you coming to bed?”
“No.”
“It’s late.”
“I know, but I can’t . . . .”
David could still see it so clearly. In his memories, it happened in slow motion, the small grin of success Colby’d shot David slowly being replaced by a frown when Dix grabbed his arm, by concern when Colby realized they were both off balance, and then by fear just before they both tilted over the edge.
Dread and panic had squeezed David’s chest, lodged in his belly like a chunk of ice. And yet, no matter how slowly it all happened when David’s mind replayed it, David never reached Colby in time to keep him from going over.
“David, I’m fine.”
“I know that.”
It wasn’t entirely true. Colby had a dislocated shoulder, but he was alive. David did know that. He could see Colby standing right in front of him, could touch him if he just lifted his hand.
“Do you?”
“Yes.”
David had leapt towards Colby, could still feel the material of Colby’s shirt slide through his fingers as Colby tumbled out of sight. His throat was still raw from screaming Colby’s name. He’d leaned over the ledge, fearing the worst; that he’d see his partner splayed on the ground below, broken and bleeding, like a doll someone had tossed away.
By some miracle Colby had caught the edge of the roof and hung by the tips of his fingers, Dix screaming as he swung by his waistband from Colby’s other hand.
David had pulled Colby up until he could hold himself a little more securely by an elbow hooked over the ledge, then leaned down and dragged Dix back over the side, lightening Colby’s load. He left Dix huddled on the roof as he helped Colby, one arm hanging uselessly, back onto the solid surface and away from the edge.
Colby had been lucky he’d walked away with just the dislocated shoulder. Lucky because he hadn’t been spattered all over the concrete below, yet that was all David could imagine. When he closed his eyes, what he saw when he looked over the edge was Colby falling, arms and legs flailing, eyes staring right into David’s, until he hit the ground.
“But do you believe it?”
When David didn’t respond, Colby took the bottle out of his hand, ignoring David’s, “Hey,” and set it aside. He straddled David’s lap, settled his free hand on David’s shoulder.
“Touch me.”
“What?”
“Touch me, David. Prove to yourself that I’m still alive.”
“I know you’re alive, Colby.”
“Prove it.”
When David didn’t move to touch him, Colby reached down and pinched his arm.
“Ow! What was that for?”
“Proof that this is real. When you close your eyes, David, I don’t want you to imagine the worst. I want you to remember that the worst didn’t happen. That you saved me. That I’m fine.”
“I can’t help it,” David said, voice small. He wasn’t normally a glass half empty kind of guy, but seeing Colby go off the roof had scared the hell out of him.
Somehow David’s hands had found their way to Colby’s thighs, rubbing them, feeling the warmth of Colby through the sweat pants he’d changed into after they’d gotten home from the office, where Don had taken one look at Colby’s sling and told David to take him home and make sure he didn’t try to jump off any more buildings.
“I know. So let’s replace that image with another one, okay? When you close your eyes, I want you to imagine me naked, sprawled across the bed, completely fucked out.”
That mental image momentarily eradicated the one of Colby falling. He’d seen Colby all loose limbed, sated, and too exhausted to even hold his eyes open just that morning. He remembered the way Colby’s lips had curved up into a pretty smug smile.
“That’s your suggestion?” David asked, a small smile curving the corners of his own lips, the heat from Colby’s nearness doing as much to thaw the block of fear as Colby’s reassurances. “Just picture you naked instead of . . .?”
Colby knocked his fist against David’s shoulder. “Not just naked . . . .”
“Fucked out.”
“Mmm hmm. Better than drinking yourself into a coma.”
“Better for who?” David said, trying to keep his voice light, but it still came out a little rough.
Colby slid his hand behind David’s head, fingers spreading over his scalp, warmth spreading through his body. “Both of us. That way we can both get some sleep; I can’t stay awake pinching you all night.”
David dropped his head forward, forehead resting against Colby’s chest. He could feel the material of the sling Colby wore against his cheek, feel the thump of Colby’s heart beating. He took a ragged breath, then another. “Colby.”
“I’m right here, David.”
David slid his arms around Colby’s hips and clung to him. “Colby.”
Warm breath feathered over his skin as Colby pressed a kiss to the side of David’s head. “I’m right here. Just don’t let go, ‘kay?”
“I won’t,” David said, tightening his arms around Colby. “I won’t. Don’t . . . .” As much as David wanted to, he couldn’t ask Colby to promise that nothing like that would ever happen again, that he’d never leave him. Instead he said, “You don’t let go either.”
Colby rubbed his hand soothingly down David’s back, cheek pressed to his head. “I won’t, sweetheart, I won’t.”
And that David could believe.
The End
